dangtamdang

i haven’t felt like this in so many moons…

Last night was the first time I started to struggle with my new found single-dom.  All of my friends were out doing their own thing and I was stuck at home, alone with nothing to do.  I started to feel loneliness for the first time in a very, very long time.  Boredom and loneliness were my biggest fears that kept me from ending my seven year relationship earlier.  What would I do with all my free time?  The past few weeks have actually been the busiest weeks of my life with friends and work, so I did not get a chance to have to face this problem until last night.  I found myself facing two options: dwell in my loneliness at home or go out and experience something new on my own.  I opted for the latter and was glad I did. 

It was an unusually warm for a November night and I had always wanted to try night photography in the city.  I looked up some tips for taking pictures at night, put my wide angle lens on my Canon T2i and packed my dad’s tripod in my car.  Before I left, some friends warned me to be careful and to not go alone.  A young woman should not be going into the city at night on her own.  It’s dangerous.  You’ll get raped.  And really, those are all legitimate concerns and I probably wasn’t making the smartest decision, but I was willing to take the risks.  As Epictetus said, “If you want to improve, be content to be thought foolish and stupid.” 

I parked in front of the Guthrie, made my way up the hill at Gold Medal Park, and set my tripod and camera.  I was alone and the only sounds I could hear was the wind, the water flowing through the Mississippi River, and the sound of my shutter clicking as I was taking pictures.  My fingers stiffened from the cold, but I had never felt so at peace.  I was doing what I love and did not have to worry about anything but the time left on my parking meter.  Besides improving my photography skills, the experience also opened my eyes to the fact that I don’t need to be around people all the time to be happy.  I NEED to learn how to be content by myself because people are cannot always going to be there for me since they have their own lives to live as well. 

I’m learning to love ME time.

Who needs boys when you have sexy, awesome friends like these? 

Been filling up my time with dates with my girlfriends and I’m loving it.  No longer do I have this fear of loneliness and boredom.

Best Halloween Weekend EVERRRRR!!!